It’s time for Friday Fictioneers. Thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for hosting, and to Beth Carter for her award-winning photo, which took first prize at the Ozarks Writers League. Congratulations, Beth!
The challenge is to make your 100 words count. If you’re so inclined, why not give it a whirl?
Click here for more stories from the Fictioneers.
Genre: Humor
Copyright – Beth Carter
Beauty (100)
To Henri, the important thing is the inside of something, and the inside of the car don’t count. It’s the blood and the guts, the juices coagulating, pumping, and holding it together, extending life, that’s what mattered.
“She’s my beauty,” Henri said, thumping the hood. All the other dames were gone.
I paid the mess nor the spring that dug in my back no mind as we limped along Highway 1. A film of dirt coated my skin.
With the smell of exhaust, the car sputtered and popped.
Henri veered off the road. “Just a little water and she’ll be fine.”
I liked your take on the prompt. 🙂
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Thanks! I appreciate that.
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🙂
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this is the perfect story. Henri, so confident even when it looks like an oh-oh moment about to happen. i love it!
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Thank you, Sunshine. Henri trusts his beauty. I appreciate your comments.
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you’re welcome! 🙂
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I was picturing some eccentric French guy… 🙂
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Maybe with a big twirly mustache like Dali…tooling down the highway with his pride and joy…I kind of thought the character would speak in a French accent in the story though, since his name is Henri. 🙂
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Yes! I can see a mustache now. He’s a happy fellow so long as his car works.
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That works for me! I honestly hadn’t thought far ahead and I’m not sure where Henri came from….
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Beauty being in the eye of the beholder as it is, I will refrain on comment about poor Henri, except that you gave the poor chap a French name…!
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Managua, I’m not sure why I chose a French name. I find it’s best not to question these things and just go with it.
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This is a wonderfully descriptive story, with its sounds and smells and springs poking you in the back. 🙂 Henri seems like a pretty good guy.
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Thank you, David. Darn springs. That to me is the end of the road for the car! Henri at least believes in his car
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What a car guy won’t do for his vintage wheels.
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Thanks, Frank. Indeed!
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Henri obviously is an optimist and a steadfast lover! I could feel that spring in my back, too!
janet
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Thanks, Janet. Me too with the spring. That is most annoying. If only Henri could stay with a woman the way he stays with his car.
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All the other dames were gone. I like this. The other dames’ juices had stopped pumping, evidently. It looks like ‘Ol’ Faithful’ is on its ‘last legs’ though! I want to know: did you deliberately ‘neither’ between
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Thanks! Ha ha… on the juices/dame connection. I hadn’t really planned that one!
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Oops! The above posted itself before I’d finished. (Damed old banger, I am)! I will finish. I wanted to know whether you deliberately left out the word ‘neither’ between ‘paid’ and ‘the’ because that is how your character would have spoken? Thanks. Ann
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Thanks, Ann. This is probably a little rough. I think at one point I had the word “neither” in there. Thanks for your feedback. As far your answer, I was aiming for a more stylistic approach with this writing, so yes.
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Thanks!
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Damned ol’ banger! Not damed ol’ banger!. You and your dames! I need a cup of tea!
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No worries! Thanks for all your comments.
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I don’t remember giving permission for my car to be used as a prompt
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Ha ha. LouAnn. Apparently, the photographer, a Friday Fictioneer herself, said if she can locate the owner of the car, because she knows a couple of places he frequents, she will present all our stories to him. Wouldn’t that be cool?!
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The dirt film caked on my skin… been there. Thanks for taking me back to Hwy 1.
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My pleasure. Thanks for coming by.
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Amy, this pic is fantastic and I’ve got a good picture of Henri in my mind simply from the description and want to know more. One thing, the spelling of Henri, isn’t that the French spelling? But still, it’s very intriguing! Thanks for sharing the talent of these writers/photogs!
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Thank you, Brigitte. This photo won an award and I’m sure it has inspired some great stories. Henri would be the French spelling. That said, I didn’t really think about that too much when I wrote it! I guess my character is French. The photographer thought about sharing all the Fictioneer stories with the owner of the car, if she can track him down. I wonder what he would think?! I think that would be cool!
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I love the ones I feel compelled to read out aloud in order to fully enjoy, and yours was one this week =)
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T, thank you so much! That is so uplifting and encouraging to hear. Thanks for sharing that with me. – Amy
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Fantastic piece of writing, my friend!
You should be very proud.
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Ah thank you, Hook! That means a lot to me.
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That about summed up my thoughts regarding this car… 😉
I really enjoyed that…!
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Thank you, Carolyn. Glad to hear it!
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Yes that’s exactly what a ride in that machine would be. Great one 🙂
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Thank you, Bjorn.
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Henri has a great attitude. Loved your story, Amy.
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Thanks, Russell. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Henri must be sooooome kinda nice guy if you got in that car! Next chapter, please.
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Thanks, Ly. Somehow I think the car is out of the picture in the next chapter.
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A car only a man could love.
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Only a man. A woman would have more sense, right?
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Let’s hope he doesn’t take the car leaving him too hard!
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Oh, I think it will be a dark day for him! Thanks, H.L.
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ah men and their cars. I really enjoyed the take on this one Amy. A fun read 🙂
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Thanks, Jackie. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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Dear Amy,
I enjoyed this one. Basically I echo the comments that come before. Well done. Ouch! That spring’s poking my back.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Thank you. I’m happy you enjoyed it. Watch out for those springs!
Shalom,
Amy
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Oh, I think the car owner would like this one! I’ve got to find him/her and present some of these stories.
Nice dialogue. Well done. Henri loves that car!
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Oh, thanks Beth! I hope he/she would like it. I can’t assume the owner is a he…but somehow I envision he’s a man. I hope you do find him. I wonder what he would think about all this. Personally, I would thrilled if it were my car!
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When you love something, its easy to look past the flaws.
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Oh, I like this Deana. Yes, you’re right!
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HI Amy,
Very creative story, and your words are well chosen to explain this relationship between man and machine. Ron
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Thanks for thoughtful comments Ron, as always! I appreciate it. Amy
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Great voice to your protagonist. I think I feel sorry for the car having Henri as her owner.
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Thanks, Sarah. I envision a lot of car problems in their future.
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oh that last line, perfect.
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Thanks, Train-whistle. Thanks for reading!
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This is a fabulous take on the prompt! 😀
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Thanks, Dianne! Thank you for reading.
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i like his optimism. just a little water is all.
suggestion – this line “A film of dirt caked my skin.” a film usually means a thin layer, but caked usually means a thick amount, like a cake. think about changing “caked” to “coated.” or just remove “A film of” and start with “Dirt caked…” just a thought.
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Oh, you’re right, Rich. You’re such a fabulous editor. I’m thinking more thin…Thanks!
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this makes me want to take a ride– cruise the open road in this wonderful old car and Henri
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It does look like an adventure, doesn’t it, Audra! Thanks!!
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really enjoyed reading this. you created an odd, interesting character ^^ just a little water.. hehe loved that line
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Henri’s ride reminds me a bit of Adam Sandler’s P.O.S. car…
only, you know… all classy-like!
I can almost smell the exhaust, Amy (I think it’s using a little oil…)!
🙂
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I loved this! This is genuinely really really good. Sort of thing you’d see in a literary magazine. My hat is well and truly off to you 🙂
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It’s my pleasure, Becky. I just recognize talent when I see it! I’m happy you liked it.
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You had this listed as humor but it seemed pretty profound to me. I like Henri’s definition of beauty, and I wonder who’s in the passenger side!
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Thanks. I was hesitant about the “humor” category. I wasn’t quite sure myself. Beauty, it’s in the eye of the beholder. Thanks for reading.
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