Caught – Friday Fictioneers

~ Amy Reese

It’s a summer rerun. I loved this prompt back in October 2012 when I wrote this story, and I still love it today. My story…I’m not so sure about. I thought about rewriting the ending, maybe something with more punch, more drama. But after recent events, I had a change of heart. Maybe it’s okay if you have to use your imagination at the end.

As always, thanks so much to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for leading the group and to Jan Morrill for the photo.

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PHOTO PROMPT © Jan Marler Morrill

(100 words)

Caught

The white walls caught the light, overpowering  my judgment. I surrendered and receded into the alley. My bare feet cracked with the sand and grit of the pebbles, the heat almost intolerable. Barely distinguishable from the others, I knew this alley wasn’t the right one. Its walls were too high and the blue door wasn’t there before. I felt light-headed.

A few steps into the shade and I saw him, standing on the balcony watching me. Waiting for me. He knew I’d be here.

I crooked my head to see a man walking behind me. My opportunity had suddenly vanished.

*************

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41 thoughts on “Caught – Friday Fictioneers”

    1. Margaret, you pinpoint exactly the things I’m hoping come out of this. I’m trying to convey that confusion and mostly that it comes from being in this alley with different viewpoints. Your question of whether she is a victim or attacker is a valid one. This moment has created a shift in whatever plan she may have had.

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  5. Glad you didn’t change the ending. The build-up of tension, the open ending, all leaves us wanting more. And you are right, we’ve all seen too much violence this past week.

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    1. Thanks, Jan. I tried and then I thought no! I just couldn’t even go there with a violent ending because I did think it needed something in that direction. Just too much, right? Glad you liked it!

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  14. There is a great sense of dread and confusion, and it’s getting more and more intense. The title describes the feeling perfectly. I like it just the way it is, it’s intriguing.

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    1. Thank you, Gah. That’s exactly the feeling I want. I think I could work with this idea. It’s almost as if the place gets her disoriented. Alleys do that me sometimes, not that I spend a lot of time in them or anything. 🙂 I couldn’t be happier that you were intrigued.

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  15. Amy,
    I like the story, but I’m very curious what the situation is. This was one of the ones before I joined the group, so I don’t think I read this one before. Sorry I haven’t read your pieces in a few weeks. I’ve been in and out. I hope you’re having a good summer.
    -David

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    1. David, I’m focused on the setting here mostly. The different vantage points and levels, and the fact that it seems like a very good place to be trapped. You’re right. Beyond that, it’s a big fuzzy.
      No need to apologize. I haven’t been around much either, so I entirely understand! Hope you’re having a great summer, too.

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  17. Trapped like a strap in a trap. Where to run next?

    I hadn’t read this before, Amy. Seems good to me as it is, but I’d love to know what kind of punch you would have put in it, what kind of plans you had for it.

    Five out of five pebbles and grit. 😉

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    1. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, Kent. I’m not sure where I would have taken it exactly. It seems a little blurry as is, but I like that she’s caught up in this moment. Sometimes, that split second makes all the difference. Haha. Thanks for the pebbles and grit!

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Take it away.